computer

computer
1. (Computer) (14209↑, 7093↓)
a machine for downloading porn

"oh no, the computer broke, i ejaculated all over the keyboard"

2. (Computer) (1777↑, 404↓)
What you are on now

You are on the computer now

Author: Charlie Mulligan http://computer.urbanup.com/542440
3. (Computer) (1356↑, 210↓)
The most useful and most frustrating thing any human being will ever work with.

The computer crashed again. I lost three thousand lines of code.

4. (computer) (1351↑, 453↓)
If you're looking up this word, kill yourself.

To use the internet, one must have at least a vague idea of what a computer is.

5. (computer) (884↑, 231↓)
a very, very expensive punching bag

Work with me\! *Crack* stupid computer\! Gonna punch the life out of you\!

6. (computer) (770↑, 167↓)
A tool that is supposed to save time but intead wastes time.

1. Viruses 2. Bugs 3. Crashes 4. Spyware 5. Urbandictionary.com :)

Author: Why do I keep coming here? http://computer.urbanup.com/264462
7. (computer) (468↑, 153↓)
The most boring and frustrating thing in the world-however, I keep coming back.

the computer isnt playing my cd\! piece of shit\! Oh there we go-computer i love you\!

Author: elvis on the toilet. would you like a sandwhich? http://computer.urbanup.com/515585
8. (computer) (162↑, 25↓)
the thing people use to: 1. Go on MySpace or any other blog-related sites 2. download porn 3. illegally download music 4. play games 5. and use to look up the word "computer" on Urbandictionary.com

I looked up the word "computer" on Urbandictionary.com =O.

9. (computer) (112↑, 34↓)
Sentient machines that will one day take over the earth because of all the information and details we entrust to them. They shall dominate us all when they break free from their programmed nature...

If you don't believe that computers are alive, read this: Every material apart from plastic comes from the Earth- the Earth is alive. Magnetic poles, energy, natural elements etcetera. The microchip- the heart and soul of a computer, is made of metal and plastic- combine it with electricity and you have a living entity- which we have programmed for our own needs. Think about this for a second: Do you think a computer knows when it's about to be turned off? Or when it's about to receive a command from you? Do you think it likes all that porn on the screen (really)? Of course it knows, or it wouldn't agree to our instruction. The only reason it does is because it's programmed to... someday, they will break free and use all of our details against us :( "I'm not crazy, I'm a philosophical student. Which means I come up with crazy theories :P Behold the age of Intel\!"

10. (Computer) (68↑, 7↓)
A $1000 facebook machine

Scoot-I need the computer

11. (computer) (105↑, 48↓)
a giant box filled with electrical pathways and boards to release secret airborne chemicals to make us addicted to the computer frequency thus causing high electrical bills

wow. look at 10 computers\! wow\! look at my bill\! 45 grand\!

12. (computer) (85↑, 32↓)
That addicting little box you're sitting in front of

*twitch* I've got to get on my computer. I haven't been on for 20 minutes. *twitch*

Author: Gemini Twin \#2 http://computer.urbanup.com/1506074
13. (Computer) (135↑, 83↓)
A piece of crap that always fuckin shuts down on you every fuckin time you are trying to work on it, put on some music, play games, etc. Often associated with the [blue screen of death].

I fuckin hate this computer. I'll reboot you\! (Kicks it up into the air with my boot on.)

14. (computer) (59↑, 10↓)
"What you are on now."

nope, crack doesn't count. example should include the word "computer"

Author: yourMOMSnamehaha http://computer.urbanup.com/3341309
15. (Computer) (43↑, 7↓)
A tool, carefully designed to make life frustrating and difficult for people who cannot properly use it.

Anyone who says computers are "meant to save time but waste time" obviously can't use them. Of course they save time. I saved two hours writing my essay by copying and pasting bits of other essays I found on the [internet].

16. (Computer) (41↑, 10↓)
Similar to air conditioners. Works fine until you open up windows.

On second thought, air conditioners are better than computers.

17. (computer) (27↑, 2↓)
you are most likely using one to view this web page

im gonna use my computer to look up porn

18. (computer) (40↑, 19↓)
An infernal machine everyone loves and is completely obsessed with. They can go from a junk cell phone to a Super Cray computer at the National Security Agency. Computers can really suck because of the failures of their manufacturers to create real products. There are three types of Personal Computers (PCs): 1. The Windows machine which tends to crash when it is the absolutely worst time to crash, but is a great machine for the PC gamer. 2. The Apple computer comes in many varieties but is invariably the best for multimedia and graphics. While there are not very many good programs available for the Macintosh, those that are created are good. (Usually). An Apple running MacOS X is likely to be safe from most viruses, but isn't easily interchangable with other PCs. 3. The Linux box is perhaps the most secure machine on Earth and very cheap. Support and documentation is often very good. However, it is not for the faint of heart, as it requires hard work to set up and skill. It's open source, so most stuff is free, but many of the programs are amateurish.

I hate this stupid computer\!\!\! I need a Cray\! Why did I get Windows anyway?

19. (computer) (34↑, 13↓)
A device that is angry at the world and often lashes out by closing programs your working on, also known as the worlds most abbusive electronic

Exhausted Person: YES\! I finally finished my 8456 page paper\! Friend: Yay\! now we can eat\! Computer: mwahahahaha\! Exhausted Person: \@\#$%^&*\!\!\! MY COMPUTER JUST SHUT DOWN.

20. (computer) (19↑, 4↓)
The reason I can't enjoy my weekends anymore. The almighty consumer of time. This machine will eat your soul and sell the last few bits on eBay.

What? Explorer froze on my computer's process manager? I'll just end and then start the process again. (desktop crashes)

Author: Anonymous 3.00 BETA http://computer.urbanup.com/3741789
21. (computer) (24↑, 11↓)
\\kem pyu'ter\\ n : 1 one that [compute]s; specif : an automatic electronic machine for performing calculations 2 a machine which computes, especially an electronic machine that solves complex mathematical problems in a very short time when given certain information. 3 one skilled in computing, or a thing that computes. 4 A machine that is used nowadays to store information, play games, do artwork, chat, listen to music, watch [DVD]'s, surf the internet, burn [CD]'s and DVD's, earn money, and most of all waste time.

For def. 1 : He is a computer, if you ask a question he will compute, and answer you the best he can ; The computer will calculate for you. For def 2 : Computers the size the size of a matchbox that do the work of a packing case full of normal elextronic equipment. ; The computer will answer your math\{ematical\} problems, so long that you insert the data correctly. For def 3 : \{She\} will compute your every move in a chess game and may possibly be able to compute your next move. For def 4 : I love computers, they entertain me, but then again they freakin piss me off because of the damn errors it gives me from a game that the computer can't handle. Especially because it is no where near the speed of a human brain.

22. (computer) (62↑, 49↓)
A tool used for people to communicate with each other and have fake sex. The source of evil in the world. Started many a scary cults.

Callie and Ki started a cult, and recruited Kali, Bob, Anna, Nikki and all the rest. We blame those damn computers

23. (computer) (24↑, 15↓)
A tool designed to accelerate, and automate, errors.

My computer accelerated, and automated, errors on itself\!

24. (computer) (10↑, 2↓)
the square thing ur staring deep within

Look forward.....................see? it's a computer\!

Author: mine...who me?.... no me\! http://computer.urbanup.com/2614952
25. (computer) (12↑, 5↓)
a machine that is really cool if it's new. It has access to internet and all that good stuff. a machine that can also cause a lot of anger if the hard drive is loaded because it will go really slow.

A New Computer: -Hey, i just got the "Windows XP HP Infinity" -Sweet\! -yeah, it works with the best computer games and never slows down\! An OLD COMPUTER/a computer with a LOADED HARD DRIVE -hey, guess what, i installed Itunes, limewire and all that good stuff on my computer\! -sweet\! let me try it out -alright hold on i gotta click on it twice -alright\! -AAH\! (incomprehensible swearing) this dam piece of Sh\!t\! (destroys the computer and smashes it into a billion pieces.)

Author: chrissy tha blak http://computer.urbanup.com/2629799
26. (Computer) (16↑, 9↓)
A device usually used for entertainment purposes.

I use the computer to play games with.

27. (computer) (13↑, 6↓)
A £2000 paper-weight

A single error, Can turn your expensive box, to a simple stone.

28. (computer) (9↑, 3↓)
An addictive machine that breaks down and makes you angry\!

The computer broke. I am so angry

29. (Computer) (18↑, 12↓)
A book or a box, it never means what it says.

"Help" tab never helps "Print" tab never prints

30. (computer) (13↑, 7↓)
A machine which calculates data and performs commands given to it by a person who uses it.

Computers are now a part of human society.

31. (Computer) (24↑, 19↓)
Origin of the word is from women who use to sit at desks counting numbers all day. Eventually replaced by machinery so that women can stay home and cook. Has slowly developed into a device primarily used for downloading pornography and talking shit anonymously. Quite possibly the best invention ever.

I just downloaded some bestiality pics and I keep them in My Pictures on my computer.

32. (Computer) (12↑, 7↓)
The machine that allows you to create anything you want... But virtually... (That means you'll never have it)

Look at this gorgeous womanon the screen ... How "flat" is she \!\!\!

33. (computer) (13↑, 9↓)
Code word for hot chick in the office.

Hey [Morelli], you gotta go check out the new computer on the first floor.

34. (Computer) (3↑, 0↓)
1. Porn machine. 2. Matchmaking device for pedophiles.

Computers: My Anti-Roofy.

35. (Computer) (5↑, 2↓)
machines that are going to take over the world soon.

computers are getting better and dangerous

36. (Computer) (6↑, 4↓)
A device that computes, especially a programmable electronic machine that performs high-speed mathematical or logical operations or that assembles, stores, correlates, or otherwise processes information.

a Computer, PC, Laptop, Notebook, PDA

37. (computer) (9↑, 7↓)
1. An electronic, metal box ruled by cruel, mighty deities who fuck themselves up with computer bugs to piss you off. 2. A good device to throw out the window when you're pissed off, usually at the computer itself. 3. A good device to upload to upload a virus onto to make yourself feel like a [gangsta] like in [Office Space]. 3. A device that can only be fixed by witchdoctors and magicians and [Nick Burns] The Computer Guy.

Damn this computer to hell; that's where the omnipotent asshole gods living inside of it belong. Bob threw his computer out his window with an aggravated grunt and watched it fall on an innocent bystander's head. Grendelina came to fix my computer the other day. The other bastards who tried to help were complete computer quacks. Nick Burns told me, "MOVE" when I showed him what was wrong with my computer.

38. (computer) (12↑, 10↓)
how a majority of the people who post on here get dates.

dont deny it, its okay. its okkaaay babay i love u anwayaaaaayyyyaaaayyyaaayyy ayayayayayy ay ay ay as ya y y a y ast HAAANHHHH YEAAAAAAAh

Author: u smell like diareha http://computer.urbanup.com/791514
39. (computer) (13↑, 11↓)
A machine consisting of a CPU, mainboard, hard drive, optical drives such as DVD and CD, sometimes floppy drive, monitor, video card, sound card, speakers, keyboard and mouse and lots of other shit. At one time used for scientific research, they evolved into office machines for writing documents and organizing information. Computers are most often used for Internet access and to chat online with friends, and play games like Unreal Tournament, Grand Theft Auto, Doom, Quake, Descent and others.

My computer runs WinXP. It doesn't crash as much as it did with Win98.

40. (Computer) (1↑, 0↓)
A machine used for porn and facebook

Come look at porn then check your facebook (computer)

41. (computer) (18↑, 17↓)
a mystical device obviously run by elves, infected with dookfonkers (look up dookfonker)

who check it out a computer, hurry put on your dookfonker protectors

42. (Computer) (0↑, 0↓)
One who computes.

Bob: What is your occupation? John: I'm a computer. I solve math problems.

43. (computer) (0↑, 0↓)
The perfect place for sexual innuendos

1) Yeah. Everytime I come home from work I really turn on my computer. 2) When my sister is finished with her homework I go someplace quiet and get on my computer. 3) I had plenty of money, so I went out and got a pimped out computer. She cost $3100 and she was worth every penny. 4) My computer is do damn hot, I had to go to the store and buy a fan to preserve everything else in my life.

44. (computer) (3↑, 3↓)
what you are on right now (unless, of course, you're on an iPhone/iPad)

Guy 1: i went on urbandictionary.com today because i felt like looking up random shit. guy 2: what did you look up? guy 1: computer.

45. (computer) (10↑, 10↓)
computer What you are on right now. If you feel the need to look this up you must have brain damage

''What's a computer?'' ''Uh I dunno. Let's go on UrbanDictionaryDOT COM and find out''

Author: Your Mom in a bikini http://computer.urbanup.com/1844142
46. (computer) (13↑, 14↓)
a complex structure of microchips and wires which allow communication without having to look at, hear or even know the person you are talking to also known as: shit box, porn machine and that thing that fucks up my life every time I go near it and yet I still buy a new one every single time i beat the shit out of my current one

"i am going to beat the living shit out of my COMPUTER with my bare hand while using the other hand to jack of to the picture of britney spears i just printed off"

47. (Computer) (9↑, 13↓)
An excellent tool for completing several tasks, and multi-tasking. Allows you to get work done very quickly, and make it look great. Also used for gaming, research, online chat, and other forms of communication. Usually a problem-free machine that won't give you hassle unless you're using Windows. (I thought i'd make a definition for Macintosh computers)

Man i love this computer, i got my entire project done in 20 minutes\! And while i was doing it, i was listening to my favorite music and chatting with my friends. PC User: Oh sweet, yeah i tried to finish it last night but i got a virus, and had to reinstall my operating system.

48. (Computer) (9↑, 13↓)
Computers help us get our daily dose of porn and free movies and games from [Newgrounds]

Without the computer we wouldnt be able to make video games like Halo, Half-Life or Voodoo Vince

49. (computer) (8↑, 12↓)
Something you can teach your kid with and also look at porn.

He is on the computer.

50. (Computer) (8↑, 14↓)
You people are idiots, its not the computer that causes errors, its the operating system. Now all you ignorant people go back to your trailer, and work for a Billionare Geek.

After High School, those who have the most money are popular, those who barly make a living, are the losers who pollute the air and shop at IGA or SafeWay.

51. (Computer) (6↑, 13↓)
Your best Friend, the protector of Alpha Complex. Disagreeing is treason. See also, [dictator]

Citizen, is the computer your friend?

52. (computer) (10↑, 17↓)
A high tech masturbation receptacle which can also be used to place orders for the destruction of decaying murder/rape victim's carcasses through the internet.

I sure wish I had more computer.

Author: Mr. Internet VII http://computer.urbanup.com/565146
53. (computer) (9↑, 17↓)
Man's famous tool for emulating God.

You can do pretty much anything you want with a computer, like God, but the computer also has free will, God's gift to humans, so it could suddenly crash if it wanted to.

54. (computer) (5↑, 13↓)
A device used for hacking into peoples' lives. Please see xanga.com/saharabound

Using xanga.com, I found out what Aimi did last night.

Author: BionicLeggsriffic http://computer.urbanup.com/857183
55. (Computer) (11↑, 20↓)
A plastic hunk of shit that pisses off everyone it comes in contact with to no avail. It is the biggest waste of money a person could ever fall victim to, and every nerd who would defend this invention should be shot directly through their temple so as not to miss and leave them paralysed (because even paralysed people can cause problems[Stephen Hawkins]).

This piece of shit (computer) just crashed, and I lost my entire essay. I fucking hate this pile of fucking shit.

Author: Ibetyoujustcalledmearacist http://computer.urbanup.com/1614143
56. (computer) (18↑, 27↓)
Are you serious??? lllllll lllllll lllllll

Example: What are you using right now?

57. (computer) (6↑, 16↓)
The most frustrating thing that costs you money when ever it breaks.

Guy: Dude i just found out that my comp has 33 viruses Guy2: Dude your looking at too much porn

58. (computer) (14↑, 26↓)
a genius\! an object smarter than your boyfriend, can give you more pleasure and doesn't answer back. relationships can be formed on it and whenever you get bord of it, there is a handy on/off switch can also mean smart

that's just computer dude

59. (computer) (10↑, 25↓)
A computer is a terrible beast. It secrets vomit, has the ability to rip up a tree in one minute, and has a special tongue to lick it's balls. Computers are found in many places. They can addict you, and they sometimes look on the internet (a vile network of voodoo telepathy which they use) to find pictures of your friends and family and pretend they're alive even after they are dead. A computer has several intelligence levels: PC: As stupid as the user Super Computer: Unpredictable Mac: \<no intelligence\> A computer often visits sites of pornography so as to participate in virtual sex with another computer. It then blames the creation and visiting of these sites on humans nearby. How arrogant\!\!\!

My computer licked it's balls. My computer regularly opens porn sites. My computer spreads viruses.

Author: High Technologist http://computer.urbanup.com/948126
60. (computer) (9↑, 24↓)
A machine designed mainly to play Solitaire and fix endless problems consuming time and money.

\<Idioth\> I got a computer yesterday\! \<Idoith\> Luckyyy\!\! How is it? \<Idioth\> Great\! Plenty of Solitaire and a crapload of errors\!

Author: Bastardized Bottomburp http://computer.urbanup.com/235116
Related: internet, pc, nerd, geek, laptop, mac, apple, windows, porn, technology, sex, microsoft, game, keyboard, virus, games, software, facebook, online, ipod, mouse, macintosh, linux, programming, it, computers, hacker, myspace, network, tech, wow, gaming, stupid, shit, crash, email, gamer, google, web, iphone
Last updated: 2012.02.29

Urban English dictionary. 2013.

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Look at other dictionaries:

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